New Beginnings
Daily Reflections invite you to safely come NEAR Grief and move toward healing.
Intention
Set an intention to mindfully accept your new beginning or pay attention to any resistance to this thought.
NOTICE
What is the first thought you have when considering accepting your new reality and allowing this to be a New Beginning? If there is resistance, notice it. Validate whatever you notice. This is where you are with your loss. Acceptance is a later stage of grief and it is okay if you are not there. When you review Kubler-Ross stages of grief, acceptance is a later stage. Kubler-Ross cites 5 stages of grief as Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. Other grief stages include shock, guilt, and making meaning of your loss. These stages do not occur in a particular order, but a person may experience these stages in what might feel like random and unorganized experiences. One day you may feel acceptance, and the next day angry that you are dealing with this new reality. Notice what stage you are in and know that this too will pass.
EMOTION
How do you feel about the emotions you are feeling today? Are you critical or judgmental of yourself for having these emotions? Are you able to accept these feelings without judgment? How big is your grief today? Is it smaller than a mouse or larger than a horse? If your grief had a sound, what would it be like? Would it be low and deep or would it be high-pitched and squeaky, making you cringe like fingers on a chalkboard?
ACTION
Take a moment to name the emotion you are experiencing. Now validate your emotion/emotions. Say out loud, “I am feeling …” (name your emotion). This is where you are today. It is okay to be feeling this. If it is a big or intense emotion, your desire may be to decrease the intensity. Dan Siegel introduces the concept of “Name it to tame it.” This is the idea that by naming our emotions we can make sense of our feelings and find balance. It involves noticing our emotions and labeling them as they are happening. (“Naming”) the emotion has the effect of reducing the stress and anxiety (“taming”) in the brain and body that the emotion is causing.
REFLECT
A Picasso quote, “Every act of creation is first of all an act of destruction.” This suggests that a new creation must come from destroying something that already exists. With grief, what does this mean to you? You may not have had control of the loss that destroyed or changed life as you knew it. Can you consider that no matter the cause of your new reality, you can reinvent or re-imagine your life from here? Some of this may come when you get to the meaning-making stage of grief. What comes up for you when you consider this idea? Are you able to consider a new beginning or a new creation from this loss? Or is today a day to accept and let go of making sense when the world feels less clear?